Wednesday, January 30

Off The List

We've been having a hard time getting a good night's rest lately (besides on weekends) and I think it's starting to really catch up with me. Memory is getting a bit blurry.

Past two days have brought wind, rain, and cold weather upon us and it is driving every one a bit bonkers. I think I'm getting better at keeping work at work and enjoying my time at home and having a life outside of that. Slightly feeling under the weather and lethargic but I'm plotting in the mean time.

At least we got a few things done and off of the checklist today. Took care of an old botched tax return, just in time for this year's paperwork to come in. Joy. I took care of my current wardrobe, more rearranging than re-doing. Well, minus putting away those sundresses. Haven't tackled the stored stuff, but that can wait until I need to switch to warm weather again. Even got started back on Project Life 2012 March again last night.

I'm struggling a bit with how to balance the stories I want to tell because I can't seem to plan out the big picture in my head. I don't want to just scrapbook what's happened in the past few years, I want to scrapbook who we essentially are. I think the biggest problems with this are that there isn't much documentation of who we are prior and that I'm still very much defining myself to myself now.

So far, I'm treating it as a challenge and trying to not be so hard on myself if I don't get every single historical epic saga on the very page I'm working on. Could endlessly talk about myself- not that you knew that already or anything. :P I'll fit in the cute details and back stories in eventually. If they're important enough to me or us to tell over and over again and remember, then they'll always be there and relevant again. For another day, another page. It'll all make it's way onto those pages some how.

The other little issue is having images to go with these stories, events, and memories! Ahh! I thought I've taken so many pictures, but going through them now- not even close! At least, it doesn't feel that way. But, from what I've read, the more experience I get with photographing, scrapping, and living, the better I will get at them all. Man, I'm going to be an expert at this stuff by the time I get to start my own family. *Snort* Like it's going to get any easier when to document while changing diapers, packing school lunches, or cleaning up barf in bed.

I think the next projects are sorting paperwork and cleaning up the residual mayhem from the holidays. Also known as, everything I grabbed out in a hurry for everything that happened and didn't have the energy to put away in the aftermath. Mostly bring what order I can to my stuff again. Before purging as much as I am comfortable doing.

Found these two videos today. They make me sigh in exasperation but giggle at the same time. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 27

Almost Back To Business

Finished my last bit of penicillin treatment earlier this week. That's a relief. I think it was taking much more energy out of me than I initially thought.

Still having dry coughing fits, the weather has started to warm up significantly, and kitty and I are still finishing up our resting period. While I haven't quite started up on PL just yet, I did take a look at where I left off. I did, however, finish up my Garden section for 2012. Woohoo!

I'm thinking the only thing I'm going to care for, if the Hogwarts had gone kaput, are three cherry tomatoes with some filler-cover plants like I had planned. SIL is interested in taking the potential abundance of fruit off of my hands.

If my garden has finally all called it quits with this year's big frosts, then I take it as a sign that de-cluttering my life is a good step. Especially if it is in preparation for a big move. Less stuff to store/ take. Yeah, I'm trying to look for a silver-lining. I guess it was as good a time as any for something like this to happen.

You know, the dramatic and turbulent time during which I was super angry with most of the world and I shut down caring while turning up the resentment dials to near maximum due to high levels of betrayal. Yeah, that.

I'm getting back more energy each day and planning out a course of action. In the meantime, there's been lots of quiet and simple bonding with SO, the kitty, and I, which has helped a ton. It reminds me of what I actually care about no matter how much garbage the rest of my life may throw down.

We're talking about daydreams and things that we haven't talked about in a long time and stuff that we used to talk about when we first met more than five years ago. It's been really comforting to check-in with one another and see what page the other one is on with some issues and if we're still on the same page with others. Just a different way of reaffirming that we've been making the right choice with being together for all this time through all of these trials and few successes.

My big goals to start this upcoming week are organizing important papers, construct a better wardrobe for this cold weather (for some reason I kept out half a dozen sun dresses and not enough pairs of thick pants the last time around), and (of course) Project Life.

Wednesday, January 23

Good Idea

I'm working more on having a work attitude and a home attitude. Keeping them separate is a big part of that. I think that would lead to having a healthier and more positive outlook on both.

Doing much better with my sleeping patterns but am still lacking the energy to keep up with life. That I find a bit dumb. I'm doing a bit of catching up since coming home, but once that's all settled, my goals are to systematically de-clutter my collection of collections & hobbies.

That and get back onto Project Life! I have some pictures and stories to add to the current year and I was really on a role with last year's album. Kind of amusing because I made it to February and that's just around the corner again. Keeping a positive attitude about reminiscing. While I may not record the nitty gritty and gripes I had at the time, I can remember by looking at the happy pictures. In time, those good and everyday moments will be much more appreciated. I can live the lessons I learned from all the accompanying crap, lol.

Made it back home on Monday afternoon, spent the rest of the day resettling and then all I wanted to do was sleep in my own bed. Kitty has been grateful to be back in familiar surroundings and is drinking well again, thank goodness.

It's been back to work as usual and readjusting to that early schedule again. I don't think my body was meant for waking up before 10am. That's just my natural timer when it comes to the sun. If I could somehow find a school that started later, it would be awesome. One could dream, right? It's right up there with flying unicorns that shed glitter that's easy to wash off.

Taking it one day at a time still and getting pretty tired of dry coughing for a month now. I did see a video about the current flu epidemic that I thought was informative and fun.

This is also a song I recently happened upon and am in love. The lyrics don't necessarily apply to me right now because the SO and I have heavily bonded within the holiday madness, but I deeply appreciate the raw emotion Pink puts into her music.

Oye, I just realized I need to change my signature soon. :P I think that my kitty has the best idea right now about snuggling up in our bed.

Sunday, January 20

Minor Recovery

Oh yeah! I have some pictures from the garden before I left it on Wednesday. I'm thinking it's all kaput.

 At least the thinned out seedlings are doing okay. I'm not convinced I'm going to use any of them this year. They're not sturdy enough with the lack of light.

I was able to go back to work on Thursday.

Guess I should have felt a bit better about having an involuntary two-day work week but I was just filled with guilt and exhaustion with an undercurrent of anger. It happened to be the 100th day of school! That means just 80 more to go. Wow.

After my usual day of scrambling to figure out where to pick up with my usual students (the school doesn't get substitutes for consensus aides like me >_<), I went to help out with the kinders. I made a 100th day crown and had some delicious "Gorp".

It's a mixture of 100 pieces of this and that, pretty much the most unhealthy trail mix ever thanks to some nut allergies in the classroom, from each of the students and their families. Many of the families sent the rest of the snack after counting out the designated pieces, so there was plenty of Gorp to go around all week.

Mom sent another care package for me on Friday. The amount of them has tripled in the past two months. I guess the holidays were more difficult than I realized. Well, looking back on how I felt at the time, I felt every bit of that angst, but that superficial frustration had died down to reveal the deeper stuff.

The package included two super fluffy and long robes. Just what I could use/ wanted in the time of this prolonged freeze. I wear them over my pajamas and over my regular clothes whenever I'm at home. Brings me comfort on multiple levels. I'm grateful for the mother-daughter bond we have.

My dad's back at home now and they are starting to receive visitors who were late to the bandwagon-party. At least my mom got the week off to rest at home too.

I've spent the rest of the weekend trying to relax and take care of my boys while recovering myself. Not my idea of a good time over a long weekend, but we're trying to make the best of it. I've been helping out with cleaning around SIL's house, spending time with my kitty-nieces, playing Pokemon Black again, watching various Star Trek episodes, and going to bed early. Slowly but surely, we're getting accustomed to a somewhat quiet life again.

Our kitty (on the bed) seeing his sister (outside on the window). The reunion has been bittersweet. :P

Wednesday, January 16

One Step Closer

I think next month, I'll start blogging three times a week. Maybe.

I'd test it out now, but there's too much activity going on in the household that needs to be taken care of immediately. Life is just reminding me that it takes precedence when it wants to in the most stunning of ways.

Went to a clinic last night. I have strep on top of the flu, so I'm banned from school for another day until the antibiotics kick in. I'm very fortunate to have the SO to check in on me and help me stay accountable for myself when my energy starts to run low.

With the somewhat new challenges that the holidays have brought, the SO and I continue to have our heavy discussions about our future. While at an unhappy stalemate now, it seems that there will be many big changes for us this year. Can't wait to take you along that journey.  ^_^

It's been super cold here, with temps getting down to 18 and soon to be 70's. Sigh. I think my garden has had it. The wind keeps blowing off the covers in the middle of the night and with so many freezing nights... I think they have all been done in. Going to keep caring after them in the hopes that spring will bring renewal, but looking at the stems is not promising. I took pictures but have too much to do around here to post them today. Maybe a bonus post tomorrow?

I'm doing my best to lock everything down before an impromptu getaway-sleepover for a while. Kitty cat and all. Not ideal, but we're doing the best we can. Today's my first day out of the oven of my bed. I miss it already.

My dad's doing better. Sorta. He's getting many visitors now and will be going home to rest some more soon. Pretty sore but still looking better each day and we all know he'd rather get out of the hospital as soon as possible. It's driving him crazy and therefore the rest of my family is being driven crazy. Another step down.

Maybe that's what I have to keep thinking about- there's no use in getting so angry or crying about it anymore, just do what needs to get done, one step at a time. If I have more energy for all the extra stuff I like to do, then great- go for it- otherwise, it can wait because it's not necessary.

^_^ We're definitely focusing on taking care of us and honoring the values that matter the most to us. This ordeal is bringing us one step closer to were we're supposed to be.

Sunday, January 13

One After Another

You know how I had a cold for the duration of winter vacation (and for a week prior)? Yeah, I had barely gotten over it this past week (tiny bit of residual cough).

Well, I got the flu and it hit me hard on Friday.

A cold front had come in, so the building was pretty cold and I was trying to keep moving to stay warm but noticed that my knees were starting to ache. Unusual for me. I powered through the rest of the day, while looking forward to Ladies' Happy Hour at a place that I've been so excited to try. When we got there, much of our party was running late, so we were just chatting for a while.

My throat was starting to get sore, so I ordered a strawberry limeade and noticed it was getting more difficult to swallow. We started to order appetizers and by the time it got there, I was feeling more under the weather and thought that the food would help. However, I was increasingly light-headed. More people arrived, I tried nibbling my fries but it was too much. The other ladies started getting concerned because after coming back from the bathroom, I guess I looked pretty pale.

My SIL wanted to run next door to Steak 'n' Shake to grab me a milkshake to soothe my throat, but the wonderful people at the place even made me one off the menu. They were so kind and my food smelled so incredibly good. I nibbled at it while the SO was on his way to bring me home. I had gotten him a pita gyro and the bite of lamb I tried from that was delicious.

I had a bit of a temperature, began to hyperventilate, but couldn't stay warm. I've been in bed getting as much rest as possible. My throats been swelling and killing me, there's the sinus pressure, the aching joints have subsided, and very dry cough. I really hope to be in some shape to go into work tomorrow, but there's a flu epidemic going on that our state has recently been added to.

In other news, my father went in for his big surgery on Friday. The procedure went according to plan and he's a little worse for wear. I have received some updates and even a picture of my dad in the hospital. It'll be a long recovery road but hopefully, it will only go up from here. I hope all of my family gets some much needed rest as well.

Wednesday, January 9


I've really want to sit down and relax after work and get down and dirty with Project Life lately but over the past three nights, I've collected about a total of about seven hours of sleep. Not exactly fun for my body. Or my brain for that matter. So, I've gathered all of my supplies around me and promptly zombie'd out until trying to go to sleep.

Spoke with my mom for a bit today. My dad's surgery is was squeezed in and is scheduled for Friday afternoon. He'll be in the hospital recovering for about a week if all goes well. From what I gather, the main surgeon's not terribly concerned about the severity of the procedure. Still doing my best to not over-worry about things that may never come to fruition, let alone within my control. Deep breaths.

My family's doing their best to keep on keeping on with their usual business: cleaning up after the holidays and getting back into the general routine of things (despite doctor-specialist visits every other day, it seems). Again, it's just going to be something weighing heavily on my mind over the next few days. I really should take after their example in action as well as in my talk.

Cold front coming in on Friday and so is our monthly Ladies' Happy Hour. That'll be a local Greek restaurant that I've heard rave reviews about but have yet to try. So, I'm quite excited. It's also partly a going away party for one of FMIL's friends. She's moving a day or so after.

I can feel my brain wandering off, so I'm going to lay down. : )

Tuesday, January 8

Sweet Tomatoes

I was feeling pretty gung-ho this morning and tackled some work that I've been putting off in the garden. While I didn't set out to weed every last bit (I'm hoping that the upcoming frosts will take care of most of those), I did finally put an end to this year's tomatoes.

This time, I remembered to take pictures!

Chopped into bits and put back into the ground.

This Serrano plant had about a dozen fairly new fruit on it. Yup, all gone.

What's left of the strawberry, Oregano, and two of the JalapeƱos are on top of what used to be the tomatoes. 
 These are the seedlings before I thinned out some of the herbs and planted the peas in a pot for kicks.

I trimmed off a bit of the frost-dead leaves on everything and will hope for the best for the remainder of this winter season.

Monday, January 7

Oh Boy...

What a great way to start a new schedule for the new year, right? Missing the second post. Awesome.

At least it's only by a day.

I had full intentions of posting yesterday. Then, I realized the great amounts of anxiety I had about going to work again today. I dreaded it. I was questioning the darkness in humanity over it.

Luckily, I was proven wrong. Mostly.

We're going to rewind back a few days first.

We did go see The Hobbit all together and it was pretty fun. While I didn't fangirl over the film, I would like to see the rest of the parts right about now. The SO is a big fan of the stories, so he had much more specific critics but was overall satisfied. Well, minus the amount of poems and songs they could have included, but didn't.

The last bit of my vacation I spent holed up in my room with my kitty working on a digitized Project Life. It's been a challenge and fulfilling and I can't wait to keep on working. So far, I'm going against my initial plan and starting, by accident, with the current year. There wasn't much when I realized I meant to start on last year's memory-keeping.

Many events were still fairly fresh in my mind with the recent review post, so I kept on keeping on despite having all of my notes and intentions picking up where I left off last with scrapbooking: 2009. Oh yes.

Right now I'm most of the way through February. I added lots of extra information about the state of Arizona and what had gone on with the family dog. I'm not quite sure how big the font actually is on my small screen. I should probably figure that out before printing full 12x12 pages. One step at a time. :)

The company is continuing to release new and exciting information regularly with crafting season still running on high right now. You can check out founder, Becky Higgins' blog for all of the last drool-worthy shenanigans.

I would be more super-enthused if it weren't for the fact that I'm running on no sleep right now. Not for lack of trying, but readjusting my schedule suddenly and my general anxiety often leads to no sleep by any natural means. I've already taken a sleeping aide tonight after developing a headache.

I'll be sure to have an "extra" post this week because I just remembered that I spent a few hours in the garden yesterday. Nothing terribly impressive, just mostly seasonal maintenance. With pictures!

Wednesday, January 2

New Schedule

Erm... I didn't quite process until earlier today that it was Wednesday and that posting today would coincide with the new schedule I set myself with the resolutions I talked about yesterday.

Lol, it doesn't quite feel like I'm not posting daily yet, does it?

Got up early for the second time this vacation (not voluntarily this time) and set to work hunkering down and backing up all of my documents and photos. It's been a few months since I made the time for something that's so important to me.

The last time I completely did it was March of last year and I did the bulk of my miscellaneous files (of which I have money because I haven't completely categorized them yet) back in June and July of this year. That's kind of scary since I would be torn if I lost these files.

Being more diligent with keeping my information safe should probably go on that important list, hm?

My family and I cannot believe that I've had this brand new big ole external hard drive for a few weeks now and haven't gone crazy with it yet. What I've worked on today was backing it up onto my original external, then I'll transfer the organized files from there onto the big boy. Hmph. That... doesn't sound quite right. >_<

I remembered to start avidly using my planner today. It's only two days into the new year... Whoops. I'm doing something new with having a side of each day dedicated to my To-Do list and the other side for my To-Done list. Lemme tell you that I like the latter side much more. I'm recording memories there too so that'll help match up with pictures when I get around to scrapbooking this year.

Maybe one of these days I'll be caught up. That's keeping in mind that I want to retroactively scrapbook the past few years with Project Life. I can feel the apprehension creeping up on me and am mentally beating it back with a large studded stick.

This song has been stuck in my head for the past day in between the Big Bang Theory clips that I've been watching online. It pretty much sums up the more positive spin on how I've been feeling.

Later on today, the SO and I plan to see The Hobbit movie later with most of his family. He's been very much looking forward to seeing it and it's been ages since we've been to a movie together. I should probably load up on caffeine prior. I'm proud to have not needed any yet! Started the day off with a bowl of fruit, yogurt, and cereal mixed together. It was a delicious snack that I had last night too.

Tuesday, January 1

The Beginning Again

I said that I'd want to talk about some resolutions as per tradition, but I was much more excited about it several hours ago.

The caution and discouragement sets in quickly, eh?

The SO and I continue to have serious conversations about our future together and where we want this year to take us. By take us, I mean what we are working to actively accomplish this year. Either way, it has been quite grounding.

For some mild accountability, I am going to mention a few things that I've thought about for the past few weeks.

I'm going to downsize all of my junk. Namely papers and crafting goods that I've accumulated in the past few years. I've come to focus more on wanting to document my life through scrapbooking because it has yielded the greatest reward as time passes, but it just makes more sense for it to be worked on digitally. The piles are getting bigger and I'm not making the time to sort through it all so it makes sense that I should not possess more than I am willing to work through keeping organized. It adds to making the world a better place environmentally, helps me stick it to our capitalistic natures, and the SO and I enjoy less clutter anyways.

Along those lines, I am determined to document more of life- be it everyday and when we find ways to make creative special memories. I think it will help me remember how many blessings are in my life and appreciate them in the moment versus when I have to sit down at the end of the night and think really hard in order to calm down. Or at least focus on them more than the negative. Hopefully, that will be a great help in getting me into a better mindset again.

Everything is pretty standard but I'm going to do my best to not take on any more projects I cannot reasonably finish in a timely manner (say two weeks?), learning to eat healther and cook more, and actively work towards my dreams of having my own home. Much less griping and spewing anger because it's not helpful to anyone. I will not be blogging daily this year, but it will be at least twice a week minimum. I'm thinking Sundays and Wednesdays. Then, it's whenever the mood strikes. The rest of that documentation energy will go into scrapbooking where I can be much more candid.

Wishing you all many more blessings and the strength to attain your dreams! <3 br="br">
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