Fears

This little thing made me start to hyperventilate.

The SO caught him before he burned himself on a lamp and was showing it to kitty when he thought I should hold onto it.

That didn't bode over well for me.

Sometimes I'm fine with holding a few nice bugs, even petting them from time to time, but many times I've stereotypically freaked out. Neither of us like creepy-crawlies touching us without our permission, but it's gotten pretty bad with me lately. I used to be able to squish roaches but recently I've opted to trap them until someone else takes care of the issue. 

I realized being forced to confront my smaller fears has gotten pretty badly. At first, he was lightly teasing me with the bug. Suddenly, I started sobbing about how I didn't want it to touch me. We talked about it and it's not like I screamed and ran but it got me thinking about why this has gotten so intense. It was irrational for sure.

Maybe it has something to do with the state of my mental health nowadays. Lots of self-reflection about that ahead. As you can see, I calmed down and tentatively let the moth climb on. It waited on the SO the entire time we were talking and didn't want to leave either one of us. I let it go outside and later on, it came back in. It must be some sort of sign that I haven't figured out just yet.

Oh well. Back to finishing up laundry!