My increasing resentment and anger came to a bit of a head this morning (no, I did not participate in Black Friday madness) and I nearly lost self-control and sanity for a while there. I couldn't find anyone to vent to and cried hot tears.
While I choose not to become incredibly personal/ detailed here, this blog and those who read it have helped a lot during this time in my life. I just needed a bit more today. I started typing up a private journal again. I would write it but I have a tendency to leave notebooks out and about while my laptop is password protected. :) Like an updated diary, lol. Plus, if I'm that angry or tired, my thoughts would still be legible in the morning with typing.
Eventually, I was able to talk to the SO, a friend, and my brother to help me calm down considerably. Thank goodness for technology. If it weren't for that, I would have never met my love, I wouldn't have been able to Skype with one of my dearest friends, and my brother wouldn't have been able to call me while shopping for my Christmas present. Lol, aww. Sweet, right?
My family and I aren't huge into keeping our presents a secret. It's more of a: "What's the one big thing you really want this year?" I'm getting just what I wanted- actually, a better version of it! I can't wait. I finished my Christmas shopping last night. Again, thanks to technology. I have been researching ideas for a few weeks now and made the final decisions. They should arrive in the next week or so. Then I can wrap them and ship' em out!
Haven't worked on writing cards today, but will definitely get back to it to tomorrow. Want to send them out in within the next two weeks, for sure. It just didn't feel right- trying to think of meaningful and kind things to say when I just wanted to start grabbing bottles and jars from the kitchen and smash them into the ground. Sigh. I need to refocus my energy towards improving myself and my life. If only the conversion were that simple.