Sorry for being so cryptic or incoherent last night. The SO and I have stayed up late nights having lots of deep and serious conversations about our relationship, life in general, modern Western society, the life stages we're in right now, and where to go from here. Very heavy stuff indeed has been weighing on our minds and it's been a bittersweet relief to get it out in the open. Plus, it leads to physical and emotional exhaustion.
The gift of being able to do that with each other while reaching very similar conclusions after using our own ways to get there is something I will always appreciate.
It does stir of a lot of emotions, especially resentment and fear. Hence the bittersweet feeling. There's so much to discuss and debate about but we're still at a loss for answers. Answers are what we need the most right now after all this time stagnating or steadily getting worse. Again, I'm very grateful because I have someone so special to me to share in this difficult journey of life.
"We're far from perfect." Is something that often ends a lot of these discussions. After hashing out different scenarios, delving through consequences, daydreaming about the ideal, we reach the frustrating conclusion that there's only so much we can do. There's only so much we can take on at a time. There's also no way we can completely fix the problems of the world, but we can try to start with ourselves.
It's like the song by Michael Jackson, "Man in the Mirror". Here's a music video to add some levity to this post. :)
Oh jeez, I just tried to use the word "brevity" instead. Good job, me.
Anyways, to work on getting rid of this dissatisfaction and facing the challenges of my life, I'm making an extensive plan. Tackling it in the only manner that has ever worked for me in my life so far. I may go into it more in the future, but it honestly is super tough on me (to the point of hyperventilation while staving off panic attacks). Just giving a heads up about my potential erratic posts in the next few days while I try to sort out my mind and priorities.