Wednesday, November 3

246. Fall Back

I guess my cleaning and rearranging in real life would eventually translate into my virtual reality. It just makes sense, right? It's kind of like spring cleaning with a nostalgic twist.

In further preparation for the upcoming expansion to our game, I- being dragged out of my unofficial retirement- have been delving through files, creating lists (because I love to do so), updating the roster and the ranks within it, and today of all days decided to tackle our guild bank. Well, I tackled my own bags and personal banks first. I have been at this game for about five or so years now and have collected quite a few pixelated items along the journey. My main character even has a "modest" arsenal of dress up clothes that serve no purpose other than to amuse me.

I cheered when they finally incorporated a system that absorbed our vanity/ companion pets and ridable mounts so we would no longer have to store it in our limited personal banks. Now, I've thoroughly decided that I will hope for some sort of closet to store my costumes. Even if it just stores exclusive holiday gear, I'd be over the moon with happiness.

This was the first time ever that I was determined to purge my inventories. Other times, I shifted things around on different characters just to make a few spaces. No longer. I wanted for my guild and myself to start off fresh with this revitalization. I've had such a hard time letting go of a lot of memorabilia at the cost of what I needed in the present. It may sound a bit silly but many of those things heralded from a time that I thought was the best times of my life thus far. How do you just delete all traces of a written note from an old friend or that silly useless item with the funny name that you've laughed about for hours with company that has long gone? I'm having a hard time now, but it's done and it would be silly to try to get them back. In a way, those may have been the good old glory days but there are plenty of good times still to come. I can't be weighed down with trying to hold onto my past at the price of missing out on my future.

This was one of the last frontiers I was keeping in my back pocket full of "for old time's sake" and "what if it comes up one day?" I think I'm finally going to be okay with closing that chapter of my life. Well, okay as I'll ever be on each level of my life and person. Granted, I'm still the type of person to take a look back pretty often but I can do that with a few choice pieces and not every single little thing. I'm biting my lip and trying to keep my breathing steady as I write this. This is really mostly for me. I will be okay. No one is going to hold this against me and I don't have any reason to feel guilty or ashamed.

I've been tearing myself up about this for hours now. I need a break. :P Can you believe this is the easiest time I've had with cleaning house in this manner? Lol, see you tomorrow. <3

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