018. Retreat

Today I have been quite retreative. Hm, I thought that was a word, but apparently it is not. Neither is retreatful. Um, withdrawn? Tensions are running high for various reasons and I don't cope well with that. I tend to want to withdraw and regather myself before coming out to play again. Not that easy in a house full of people with varying schedules. It pretty much leaves me seeking solace in some corner when I can't sleep in the wee hours before dawn. There's only so many nights you can do that and still retain some sanity during normal hours of consciousness.

I finished making the main cards I wanted to make, orders are prepped to be mailed, and I've decided to hold off on backup card making for a little bit to tend to my shop again. I have had fun with stamping though, even if my supplies are modest. I just don't want to socialize or think about everything all at once. I just want to sulk for a little bit, is that too much to ask for? Granted, I want someone to nudge me out of this funk when I'm ready- but that's another kettle of fish. So, my personal side projects are actually progressing and it has helped me get up and keep occupied.

I did some research last night too about what I can do next. I'm trying to figure out my current options now on my own time so I can keep a level-head. Like teaching myself how to walk in mud before I run a marathon in it. I think my biggest problem right now is that I don't know what I want, career-wise. I know if I found a work calling that I would take off running (no pun or whatnot intended) but I don't think my calling deals with a way to earn income. I guess that's the hardest part of all of this, I'm trying to find a work passion that doesn't exist. Or at least that I'm not supposed to find now. If the latter is the case, then I'm kind of screwed atm, lol. Society dictates that I should have already jumped on that. I have always done things the hard way :P

Sigh, I need to go re-organize my shop because I want to release new product that had nothing to do with the previous product lines that I wanted to work on, lol. Way to focus right?

Doing my best to genuinely smile each day,
- Me <3